I find it hard to ask for help. Why? Guilt. I don’t like to burden others. I already know they’re struggling, too. I haven’t talked to them in a while, so who I am to suddenly ask for something when I haven’t been a friend? I’d just be taking advantage of their kindness and caring. My problems are small compared to the world. They’re better off not hearing mine. They don’t need more to worry about.

I’m not the only one. Sometimes, people like me keep quiet for reasons such as these. Perhaps more than these. Pray for us, that we might find the courage to seek the help we need. There’s a difference between solitude and shutting others out when you actually need them, and I’ve been mixing the two up lately. Getting better at knowing that difference, slowly. I’m realizing I can’t exactly heal overnight, but I know I’ll be better and stronger through this. After some other disturbing realizations, I’m tempted to repeat last year’s mistake of giving up. But I’ve learned better. I’d much rather do something about it this time around. Don’t let me forget. I’m not the only one.

Posted 26th January, 2012

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